


It's My Life

by westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Alternate Universe, Original Character - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2000-09-02
Updated: 2000-09-02
Packaged: 2019-05-15 01:24:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 10,779
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14780984
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist/pseuds/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist
Summary: Roni tries to deal with being in a wheelchair.





	1. It's My Life

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

It's My Life

by AJ

Disclaimers: Just a girl having some fun. Spoilers: Roni tries to deal with being in a wheelchair. Rating: PG15 Strong themes...eventually. Notes: What If? Belongs to Creed. Thanks to Chelle for proofing this, and incouraging me. If you take me down for this, take her too.

After spending a week in the hospital, Roni was finally released. But was she really? Abbey was most likely going to put up more of a fuss over Roni than all the nurses and doctors had. Most likely? Definitely.

Roni was pushed in to the hospital's wheelchair accessible van by an orderly, and was driven to the White House. The vehicle came to a stop right outside one of the wheelchair accessible doorways into the residence.

Jed and Abbey stood there waiting for Roni's return. As the driver came around back, he opened the door. He further directed Roni to roll onto the little elevator thing the van was equipped with. Roni did as she was told, and then the man pressed a button and down went Roni.

Before the man climbed back into the driver seat, he went around to the side door and took out a black leather suitcase filled with Roni's stuff she had at the hospital with her.

Jed thanked the man as the van drove off. He then went over and picked up the suitcase. "Come on, let's go inside." Jed said as Abbey went behind Roni and began to push her chair.

"I can push it myself, mom." Roni retorted as she had suddenly begun to move forward.

"Sorry, I didn't know." Abbey quietly responded. It hurt her so that Roni was so hurt. "I won't do it again."

When Abbey left from behind the chair, she went over to the door and held it open. "Am I allowed to open the door for you?" Abbey asked a little sarcasticly.

Roni just ignored the comment and rolled herself into the building Closely behind her were her parents.

As Roni rolled through the hallways of the White House, the same hallways she used to walk through everyday, she began to get depressed. It probably wasn't helping that everyone that walked past her was giving her a look of sympathy.

When Roni, Jed, and Abbey got off of the elevator on the same floor in which their bedrooms were, they piled out of the thing. As soon as she was out of it, she strolled herself off, went into her bedroom, and slammed the door shut. Before moving away from it, she made sure to lock the door. Then she made her way over to the bed.

Carefully, and very slowly, Roni managed to pick herself up out of the chair and onto the bed. It had been much easier at the hospital. But eventually, she made it. As she began to push herself further on the bed, her phone began to ring.

And ring.

And ring.

Roni refused to pick the phone up. She didn't care who was on the other end. She didn't feel like talking to anyone.

She finally got herself far enough on the bed, and having done so, she dropped her back down to the bed. Her head bounced off the pillow slightly as she did so.

Roni heard a knock at the door.

"Go away!" She shouted as she reached over to the nightstand and picked up the remote control for the stereo. Music began to blast through the speakers drowning out the knocking, and her crying.

I can't find a rhyme in all my reason I've lost sense of time and all seasons I feel I've been beaten down By the words of men who have no grounds

I can't sleep beneath the trees of wisdom When your ax has cut the roots that feed them Forked tongues in bitter mouths Can drive a man to bleed from inside out

What if you did? What if you lied? What if I avenge? What if eye for an eye?

Jed, who had been the one to knock on the door, finally went away. He had tried his hardest to get her to answer the door, but because of the music, he couldn't. He tried even harder to listen to the words of the song, but all he could hear was the blare of the music.

Not knowing what else to do, he had no choice but to leave.

I've seen the wicked fruit of your vine Destroy the man who lacks a strong mind Human pride sings a vengeful song Inspired by the times you've been walked on

My stage is shared by many millions Who lift their hands up high because they feel this We are one We are strong The more you hold us down the more we press on

What if you did? What if you lied? What if I avenge? What if eye for an eye?

Roni sat up. She knew whomever was at her door had left. Not like she ever heard the person, she just knew whoever it was, was gone. She, being able to understand the words of the song, knowing what they were. Knowing what they meant, began to cry.

She hoped the song was right. She hoped she could press on from this tragic event in her life. But truth be known, she was too scared to do much of anything. She was even too scared to let anyone get close to her.

I know I can't hold the hate inside my mind 'Cause what consumes your thoughts controls your life So I'll just ask a question A lonely simply question I'll just ask one question

What if? What if? What if? What if? What if I? What if? What if? What if? What if? What if I? What if? What if? What if? What if? What if I? What if? What if? What if? What if? What if I?

As she reflected on that last little part of the song, she thought about what it said. What if I? What if it was her? Well, It was her. It was her sitting in that wheelchair. It was her holding the hate in her mind. She didn't care if it was controlling her life. She didn't have control over if she walked again, so why couldn't her thoughts control her life? Why couldn't that hatred she felt so strongly for the men who put her in the chair control her life?

What if you did? What if you lied? What if I avenge? What if eye for an eye?

What if your words could be judged like a crime?

What if? What if? What if? What if? What if I? What if? What if? What if? What if? What if I? What if? What if? What if? What if? What if I? What if? What if? What if? What if? What if I?

If Roni's words were judged like a crime, she'd be in a lot of trouble. She realized she had been pushing people away. Yelling at them. Lying to them. She wanted revenge against Superman and his gang, and she was taking it out on the people closest to her. She knew this, but she didn't care. It was her in the chair, not them.

Her.

TBC...

  

  


	2. It's My Life 2

It's My Life

by AJ

The rest of that day, Roni stayed locked up in her bedroom. She didn't come out for anything. For anyone. She stayed locked up in her bedroom, just as she had to stay locked up in her wheelchair.

The next morning, Abbey came to Roni's door and lightly tapped on it.

"Go away!" Roni proclaimed.

Abbey listened to the words that Roni proclaimed. But they aren't the words that Abbey heard. The words she heard, were, 'I need help.' Abbey jiggled the doorknob. Her little girl was so very depressed, and she needed her mother's help.

The door was locked.

"I said go away. That doesn't mean try to come in." Roni said just as loud as the first time.

"Roni, it's me. Let me in. We need to talk." Abbey's voice came from behind the door.

"I don't want to talk. I want to be left alone. Go away. Leave me alone."

"Fine, I'll go away. But you should come out and eat something." Abbey said with great concern.

"I'm not hungry."

"You haven't eaten anything since yesterday afternoon. Do you honestly expect me to buy that you aren't hungry?"

"Yes, I do." Roni said. "Now go away and leave me alone."

Abbey did as she was asked She knew she wasn't getting anywhere with her daughter. She was so stubborn sometimes.

Just as stubborn as Jed is.

Maybe even more stubborn that Jed. Was that possible? If it was possible for one to be more stubborn than Jed, it had to be Roni. ~~ Later that day, around noon, Roni began the very long journey from her bed into her chair. She knew her parents were about to come and tell her she had to go to therapy.

They could make her go to therapy, but they couldn't make her try when she got there.

She didn't know why she agreed to go. She knew nothing was going to change. How could it? She only had an 11% chance to walk again. How was therapy going to surpass those odds?

It couldn't.

Finally getting into her chair, she strolled over to the door and unlocked it for the first time since she slammed it shut the day before.

Jed and Abbey were both standing right outside the door when she opened it She looked up at them. She looked into their eyes.

She couldn't stand to look in their eyes. All she saw was disappointment.

Whether it was there or not.

That's what she saw. Disappointment. Roni turned her eyes down to the ground and quietly pushed herself in between the two of them. After she passed them, she stopped. "Are you coming?" She asked, without turning around to look at them.

"Do you want us to come?" Jed responded to her question with a question.

"Do I have a choice?" Roni knew how to play this game.

TBC...

  


	3. It's My Life 3

It's My Life

by AJ

Roni's therapy session didn't go very well. Everyone knew she wasn't putting any effort in. The therapist was the one doing any the work. Everyone knew it, but no one said anything.

The car ride back from the physical therapist, was a quiet one. The conversations were all a little one-sided.

"There's a State Dinner coming up." Jed said looking at Roni. Roni didn't even flinch when she heard her father's voice. "I'd like it if you were to come. You can bring Brad with you."

Roni still had yet to move or respond. Jed placed his hand down on Roni's leg in a supportive manner, but she couldn't feel it. She couldn't feel anything below her waist.

Jed realized what he had done, and he felt foolish for having done it. Almost immediately he moved his hand as he draped his arm around her shoulders. "I'd really like it if you could come, Roni."

"And I'd like it if you would leave me alone, father." Roni replied very coldly as she removed his arm from around her.

Jed's heart was breaking. He didn't know what to do. Was he loosing his little girl? Did he ever have his little girl? He never did meet her until she was a grown up.

Needing support, he turned to find Abbey's eyes. Her eyes were filled with tears. She didn't know what to do either. She was just as frustrated with Roni's lack of interest over her own health, her own life.

What can you do to help someone that doesn't want to help themself?

Nothing. That's what. You can't do anything at all. You can be there for the person, but more than that, there isn't anything you can do to help.

As the limo pulled up to the residence, Jed and Abbey climbed out the same side of the vehicle, as did the driver. The driver then went into the trunk and took Roni's wheelchair out. Abbey pushed it over by the door Roni was sitting right in side of, and Jed picked her up and carried her out.

The moment Roni was in that chair, she took off. She struggled a little with the door, but once she got it, she was gone from sight. Jed and Abbey sighed as they looked at each other and then silently went in themselves.

Their youngest daughter was in so much pain. So much anguish. And she wouldn't let them near her. It hurt them so much. They had gotten so close to Roni in the short time that she has been with them. But now, everything they have worked so hard to establish with her, it was all disappearing.

It all vanished along with Roni's ability to walk again.

Would it ever return?

Would Roni ever be able to let her family back in? Would she let anyone back in? Her family wasn't the only ones she was pushing away.

... Brad

Roni hasn't spoken to Brad since that first day that she came out of her coma. She hasn't really talked to anyone since that day she came out of the coma. It was like something changed. She woke up, but would she ever be the same?

Could she ever be the same?

When Roni left her parents standing outside, she just wanted to get away. She didn't know where she was going, just away. She was sorry that she was being so mean to them.

Really, she was.

But she had shut herself down. She didn't know how to deal with any of the changes in her life, and she didn't want to learn how to deal with them. Sure, that might be unhealthy, but as long as Roni was able to run... she ran. Not literally of course, but figuratively speaking.

Just how far could Roni go? Physically? Emotionally?

Somehow Roni ended up in the living room in the residence. She didn't know why she was there, that's just where she was when she stopped pushing. After sitting there in the dark for a few minutes, Roni transported her body into the reclinable chair. After successfully doing this, she turned the TV on and began to surf the channels.

She stopped on some cartoon show. Something about this cartoon caught her attention. What was it?

TBC...

  


	4. It's My Life 4

It's My Life

by AJ

What was it about this cartoon that caught Roni's attention so much? She didn't really ever get into cartoons, so why was she watching one now? Why couldn't she press her finger down and change the channel?

If she could just do that, if she could just change the channel, she'd be better off for it.

After a few seconds of being drawn to the television set, the main character came on to the screen.

Superman.

She was watching Superman.

An animated form of Superman.

She swore to herself that she would never watch anything that had a superhero in it ever again. Most of all, Superman. So why couldn't she change the channel?

Roni's gaze was transfixed onto Superman. She began to shake.

The shaking kept getting worse and worse.

Roni began to violently shake in the chair she was sitting in.

Why couldn't she stop shaking? Why couldn't she change the channel?

As she continued to stare at the TV, she dropped the remote. She tried to communicate with her brain to pick the remote up, but her brain wasn't listening to her. She couldn't get the control. Even if she did, she wouldn't be able to change the channel.

She wanted to change it, but she couldn't.

Jed and Abbey were walking to their bedroom when they heard a cry for... Superman. They realized it was coming from the TV, so off they went into the living room.

They stopped when they entered and saw Roni shaking in the chair, unable to take her eyes off of the screen. Jed walked over and turned the TV off, but Roni was still shaking. And her eyes were still fixed on the television set.

Was she really watching Superman?

No.

No, she wasn't. The show had just brought all those memories back from that day... from the recent events in her life. She began to replay all the things through her mind. That's why she was shaking.

Turning the TV off wasn't going to help.

Maybe if she never turned it on, maybe that would have helped. But she had. There was no way to go back in time and change that. She turned the TV on. She stopped it on Superman.

The same time that Jed was turning Superman off, Abbey ran to Roni. She grabbed her and tried to stop her from shaking. But it didn't help. Somehow, Roni managed to fling her arm and away went her mother.

Now it was Jed's turn to try.

Jed walked over and abruptly grabbed his daughter. Then he pulled her into him. He didn't give her the chance to buck him off.

Wrapped up in her father's arms, Roni began to cry.

And cry.

And cry.

She couldn't stop crying.

"Shh, it's going to be okay, Roni. You just let it out." Jed tried to calm her down.

Finally, Roni found her voice again. "NO IT WON'T! It won't be okay. Don't you understand? Don't you get it? It will never be okay again. It can't!" Roni managed to push Jed off of her now too.

Free from arms holding her down, Roni quickly transported herself back into her wheelchair and rolled off, leaving Jed and Abbey standing there, wondering what the hell just happened.

TBC...


	5. It's My Life 5

It's My Life

by AJ

Desperately needing to fix everything that was wrong with her daughter, Abbey went to Roni's room a few hours after her little episode. She didn't bother knocking on the door. She knew if she did that, she would just be yelled at to go away.

Turning the doorknob, Abbey found that it was actually open. This was the first time that the doorknob hadn't been locked since Roni returned.

Maybe she wasn't in her room.

If she were in her room, she would definitely have the door locked.

Abbey carefully opened the door and peeked in to find Roni laying down on her bed. Seeing this, she made her way into the room, and over to the bed. As she got closer, she moved the wheelchair.

If the wheelchair was near Roni, Roni would be able to escape again. Abbey didn't want that. She needed to talk to her daughter.

Sitting down on the bed next to Roni, who had a pillow covering her face, Abbey began to speak, unsure of what to say. "Veronica Marie," Abbey used her daughter's full name. Not her nick name, but her full first name, and her middle name. "We need to talk."

"If it's about earlier, I'm sorry I pushed you. If I hurt you physically, I'm sorry." Came Roni's voice from under the pillow.

Abbey began to get her hopes up. Was Roni opening up? Was Roni going to let Abbey in?

Removing the pillow from Roni's face, Abbey said, "I'll live. And so will you, Roni. So will you."

"If you're going to give me some kind of speech, you can save your breath. I'm not going to listen. So if that's what you have planned, just leave now."

"That is what I'm going to do, and you are going to listen to me." Abbey said sternly.

Maybe if she used some force she could get Roni to do what she wanted. It was worth a shot. What would it hurt to loose? Roni had already pushed Abbey and everyone else so very far away. There was no where else she could push them.

"Roni, you're hurting inside. I can see it. You'd have to be blind not to see it. And you keep pushing everyone away from you. Now, you may think that what you need, is to be left alone, but I don't think so. In fact, I know so. I know what is in your best interest. And that would be to let us in. Let us help you. Stop pushing us away. It isn't fair to us. It isn't fair to you."

"I'm not pushing any one away." Roni explained.

"Yes, you are. You are pushing everyone away. Everyone that loves you the most, you are pushing them away."

"Are you done talking yet?" Roni asked with a lack of interest in her voice.

"Are you going to open up to me, and let me help you?" Abbey answered her question with a question.

"No. So just go away. You are waisting your time."

"Fine." Abbey gave in. "I'll go away, for now. But I'm not going away for good. You ain't getting rid of me that easy."

When Abbey left, Roni looked up at the door as her face was suddenly flooded with tears. Why was this happening to her? Why was she in a wheelchair? What could she do to make things better? Maybe...

TBC...


	6. It's My Life 6

It's My Life

by AJ

"Jed, you need to do something." Abbey was pacing back in forth in the presidential bedroom a few short hours after she had talked with Roni.

"What am I supposed to do? You said you tried to talk to her and it didn't work. What am I supposed to do differently that she is going to open up to me?"

"I don't know. But you need to do something, Jed. I can't stand seeing her hurt the way she is."

Jed stood up from his chair and walked over to Abbey. Getting her to stand still, he pulled his wife into his body. "If it will get you to calm down, I'll try. That's all I can do though, is try."

"Yeah, I know." Abbey smiled as she placed her head on her husband's chest. "May the force be with you." She smiled again.

"Yeah, I think I'm going to need it." Jed smiled back.

~~~

"Can I come in?" Jed opened the door of Roni's bedroom and saw her sitting in a dark blue swivel chair in the corner.

"You are already in. So apparently you don't really need my permission."

"Fair enough." Jed said as he went over and sat on Roni's bed. "You're Mother and I were talking about you." Jed decided the best way to reach Roni was going to be straight forward.

"Let me guess, when I wouldn't open up, she came crying to you?" Roni said coldly.

"No. She wasn't crying. But she is very worried about you, Roni. So am I."

"What? You want a prize or something?" She said sarcastically as she looked away from her father.

Switching gears, Jed realized he had two other things he had to talk to his daughter about. "I got a call today."

"Yeah? Really? Am I supposed to dress in drag and do the hoola?" Roni quickly retorted a line from the Lion King.

Ignoring her comments, Jed continued. "That place called. They can install that lever in your truck tomorrow. But you are going to have to be there when they put it in."

"Why?"

"Because, they have some kind of video game machine, or something, that simulates driving a vehicle using this lever. Before you get into your truck and drive it, you need to feel comfortable with the hand controls. That way you don't crash."

"Heaven forbid anything else go wrong in my life."

"Anyway, you need to go do that tomorrow. I'll find someone to take you." Jed had the beginnings of a plan to force Roni into heeling herself. But he wasn't about to share it with her.

"Whatever."

"Also, the State Dinner. I'd really like it if you would come."

"I'd really like it if you would go." Roni came back with yet another snappy comment.

"I'll go and leave you alone if you promise me that you will come to the State Dinner. You don't have to have a good time. You don't have to stay the entire time. I just would like for you to come. Make an appearnce, however brief it may be."

"If I promise, you promise to go away, right?"

"Yeah."

"Fine, I promise. I'll go to your stupid State Dinner. Now go." Roni put her head back against the cushiony pillow part of the chair she was in, as her father quietly got up and retreated from the room.

TBC...

  


	7. It's My Life 7

It's My Life

by AJ

"Hey." Brad quietly said as he entered Roni's bedroom the next day.

"What are you doing here?" Roni questioned at her boyfriend's entrance. Her voice filled with no life at all.

Was he really still her boyfriend? Roni wasn't acting like he was lately.

"Your Dad called me. He asked me to drop by."

"Why?" Roni realized what her father was doing. He thought that the only person that might be able to reach Roni would be Brad. Maybe that's why she had been avoiding him.

"He mentioned something about taking you and your truck down to some place to get some gadget installed."

"Yeah, I forgot about that."

"What exactly is the gadget? Your Dad tried to explain it to me, but I didn't really understand." Brad finally stepped forward into her room.

"It's a lever that is put up by the steering wheel. Usually, on the same side as the turn signal. You push it one way, you get gas. You push it the other way, you get the brakes."

"How? How does it work?"

"Does it matter? It works, and it will let me be able to drive my truck again." Roni said as she turned her eyes off of the young man in her room. "Then I can get the hell out of here." Roni muttered under her breath, so quiet that Brad didn't hear her.

"No, I guess it doesn't matter. So are you ready to go?"

"Sure, the sooner the better."

Walking out the door, Brad hesitated to push the chair for Roni. He knew how Roni hated anyone helping her with it. She kept saying how she was the one stuck in the thing, she was the one that had to live the rest of her life in the thing. She needed to be the one to push the thing.

Brad ended up just resting his left hand on the right handle as he walked beside the chair.

"What is it?" Roni asked breaking the eerie silence that accompanied them since they left her room.

"What is what?" Brad asked back.

"I've been getting speeches from everyone else, where is yours? I can see you're thinking about what you want to say to me. But you aren't sure you should say it." Roni quickly glanced at him, and then returned her gaze to the ground. "You aren't going to hurt my feelings, whatever you say. I've probably heard worse from someone else."

"I just don't understand, that's all."

"What don't you understand?"

"Why are you shutting everyone out when you need them the most?"

Roni stopped strolling the chair. "I'm not pushing anyone away. I wish people would stop saying that." Roni swore to herself that if she heard one more person say that to her she would not be responsible for her actions.

"Yes you are, Roni. You are pushing everyone away, and you know it." Brad stopped as well, and faced Roni.

"No I'm not." Roni said as she gave a strong push to the chair and propelled herself forward. "Come on, we're going to be late."

TBC...

  


	8. It's My Life 8

It's My Life

by AJ

Roni spent two hours in the inside of the shop learning how to drive a car using the hand lever. No easy task. Not when you've spent a few years driving, using your feet to operate the gas and break pedals.

The first hour, Roni was slowly beginning to get the hang of things. And the last hour, she was just having fun. She had managed to master the art of the lever, in such a short amount of time, and now she was just racing around having fun.

This was the first fun thing she had done in a long time. And it put a smile on her face. Not much had been able to do that in the past week.

Brad noticed her smiling when she was *playing*. He tried to think back to the last time when he saw her smile, but his memory wasn't that good.

No one's was.

When Roni climbed back into her wheelchair, leaving the game, reality settled back on her. The smile faded, and the grumpy Roni returned.

Rolling over to her truck, a man approached her and gave her the keys. "Here you go, ma'am. It's all ready for you." He smiled.

Roni didn't answer. She just took the keys and kept heading for the truck.

She took the keys. The keys for her truck. A vehicle. An escape mechanism. A way out of this city, this place... this life.

Brad, actually having some decency in him, gave the man his thanks and then went over to Roni.

"Need any help?" Brad saw Roni struggling to lift herself up high enough to get into the driver's seat.

"No. I can manage." She snapped at him as she finally was able to get in all the way. Then she folded her chair up, shoved it behind her seat, and shut the third door, and the driver's door.

Once Brad entered in on the other side, Roni started the truck up and began to drive away.

"You know, I actually did hear that comment you made earlier." Brad said as he looked over at her.

"What comment? I've made many." Roni's voice was filled with little to no interest.

"When you said 'so I can get the hell out of here,' referring to getting your truck driveable and dodging town. I heard that."

"Good for you. And I care, because?" Roni was quick to reply.

"Roni, what is wrong with you? You've never acted like this before." Brad was very concerned over her behavior.

"I changed. If you don't like it, then. . " Roni pulled the truck over to the side of the road.

"I think I will." Brad opened the door and jumped out of the truck, as Roni drove off.

TBC...

  


	9. It's My Life 9

It's My Life

by AJ

Notes: It's My Life is not mine. It belongs to Bon Jovi.

Brad was right, Roni thought as she drove off. She didn't want to stick around. She didn't want to be anywhere.

But did he know what she really meant by that comment?

Did he know what she had planned?

Roni turned the radio on, Bon Jovi came over as loud as the speakers would go.

This ain't a song for the broken-hearted No silent prayer for faith departed And I ain't gonna be just a face in the crowd You're gonna hear my voice When I shout it out loud

Roni wanted to leave town so much. She didn't want to be a face in the crowd of Washington D.C. She didn't want to be a face in the crowd anywhere. She felt like she kept trying to tell everyone that, but no one was listening to her. They were all too busy telling her how she needs to open up. They were busy saying how sorry they are for her, how she had to go through this. Roni was sick of it. She couldn't take anymore. She was going to leave, and do it in a loud way so that everyone would here her.

It's my life It's now or never I ain't gonna live forever I just want to live while I'm alive (It's my life) My heart is like an open highway Like Frankie said I did it my way I just wanna live while I'm alive, It's my life

It was Roni's life. It was her job to live it the best she saw fit. And end it... If she wanted to die, if that was the only way she saw out of her mess, then so be it. Roni didn't care anymore. Not since she found out that she was going to be paralyzed for the rest of her life. She got dealt a rotten hand, and she saw only one way to deal with it. End it. And it was now, or never.

This is for the ones who stood their ground For Tommy and Gina who never backed down Tomorrow's getting harder make no mistake Luck ain't even lucky Got to make your own breaks

Roni's hand pulled on that lever and the truck started to move faster, and faster. Roni ran a stop light, and then a red light, and there was an entire stream of red lights coming up in front of her. Red means stop, but Roni wasn't going to. She kept going, and going. Gaining speed by the second.

It's my life It's now or never I ain't gonna live forever I just want to live while I'm alive (It's my life) My heart is like an open highway Like Frankie said I did it my way I just wanna live while I'm alive, It's my life

Better stand tall when they're calling you out Don't bend, don't break, baby, don't back down

It's my life It's now or never I ain't gonna live forever I just want to live while I'm alive (It's my life) My heart is like an open highway Like Frankie said I did it my way I just wanna live while I'm alive, It's my life

As Roni crossed into yet another intersection in which she had a red light for, she wasn't alone. There was another vehicle there... A minivan.

Suddenly, a crashing sound was heard for miles around.

TBC...


	10. It's My Life 10

It's My Life

by AJ

About thirty minutes after everyone from the crash scene had been transported to the hospital, just about everyone's injuries had been treated. Thank God they were all minor injuries.

Roni only suffered from a bump in the head.

She still had to go to the hospital though. They had to make sure there were no internal injuries, and stuff like that. After she was finished getting checked out, she decided to stroll the halls of the hospital.

The other driver, the mother of the 3 little girls and 2 little boys also in the minivan, had just a few scratches on her. And most of her children were afflicted with those same wounds.

Most of them.

The last child, a seven-year-old boy, with dirty blonde hair and big blue eyes had a broken leg. While he was getting the cast put on, Roni had the bad luck of being in the very hallway as the mother of the boy. The boy's mother saw Roni, and decided to confront her, not having a clue who she really was.

"What the hell were you thinking?" She shouted at Roni.

"Who said I was thinking?" Roni replied coldly.

"You had no right to play God with my life, and with the lives of my children. No right. Damn you!" The mom shouted as the doors to the room where the little boy was getting his cast put on were opened.

"Mommy!" He shouted.

"Hey, Petey." The Mom said with the sound of tears in her voice.

Petey, the little boy, saw Roni, and recognized her. "You're the one that crashed into Mommy, huh?" He asked her.

Roni didn't respond. She just strolled away. She seemed to be doing a lot of that lately. When she came to an empty corridor of the hospital, she stopped. Then suddenly, she felt two hands on her. She hurried up and turned her chair around to be face to face with Josh and Sam.

"How long have you been there?" Roni snapped.

"We just got here." They replied in unison.

"Roni!" Abbey shouted as she saw her daughter and ran to her. "Are you alright?" Abbey hesitated to hug her.

"I guess." She mumbled as she saw her father right behind her mother.

"Josh, Sam. Do you think you can give us a minute alone with our daughter?" Jed said harshly.

Josh and Sam looked at Roni sympathetically as they said in unison, "Sure thing, Mr. President." They turned and left. They still had no clue why they were there in the first place.

Roni looked up into her father's eyes for a brief second. She saw anger, frustration, anger, annoyance, anger, love, anger. As she moved her glance to the ground, she said, "Dad..."

"Not here!" Jed shouted at her as he led the way into an empty hospital room. "What the hell were you thinking?" He slammed the door shut.

"I could tell you, but I don't think you want to know." She muttered.

"What was that?" Jed's voice still shouting.

"I said you probably don't want to know." She repeated herself, only with a much higher tone. Then she looked back up into his eyes. Still seeing only anger, she snapped at him. "I WAS TRYING TO KILL MYSELF!! There, are you happy? I told you. I was trying to kill myself! I hate my life! I hate what it has become. I hate it. I wanted to end it. I was trying to kill myself." Roni screamed back at him.

"Roni!" Abbey said as Roni took off out the door, yet again leaving her parents behind.

TBC...


	11. It's My Life 11

It's My Life

by AJ

The tension that Roni was able to fill the halls of the White House was finally having its effect on everyone around her. Jed and Abbey kept snapping at each other, and at all of their staff members. The staff members turned around and snapped at all their people.

It was a wonder that they were still managing to get some work done. But, just because one of the First Daughters was having a miserable life, and was trying to end it, that doesn't mean that the country can stop running.

Abbey, not having the same responsibilities as Jed, was able to take some time off as the First Lady. She spent that time watching Roni. She spent practically every waking moment watching Roni. She had tried to kill herself once, and wasn't successful. What was to stop her from trying again?

When Abbey came back from the bathroom, having left Roni alone for no more than two minutes, she was gone. Frantically, Abbey began to run through the hallways of the White House in search of her.

There was no sign of Roni, and no one had seen her. No one knew where she was.

"Jed, she's gone." Abbey ran into the Oval Office.

"What?!" Jed shouted.

"I went to the bathroom, and when I came back, she was gone. I've been searching for her for five or ten minutes. Jed, no one has seen her. No one knows where Roni is." Abbey was on the verge of a panic attack. Thoughts of what Roni could be doing flooded her mind.

"Did you try the service?" Jed was forced to be the calm one. When Abbey shook her head in the affirmative, Jed asked, "And?"

"And, somehow Roni managed to ditch her detail. They don't know where she is." Abbey was standing before her husband in tears.

Jed closed his eyes in fear of the possibilities. When he opened them, Abbey was no longer standing in front of him. Jed turned his head to the side and found his wife standing next to him.

As soon as Jed found her, he stood up from his chair and wrapped his arms around her. "We're going to find her. She is going to be okay." Jed hoped that she would believe him. But then, he didn't even believe himself.

"What if we find her too late?" Abbey's voice cracked in a way that it never cracked before. "What if she's..." She couldn't continue. She couldn't say it. But she couldn't stop thinking it either.

What if Roni managed to kill herself?

TBC...


	12. It's My Life 12

It's My Life

by AJ

Roni was laying down in the grass in one of the parks in the D.C. area. She was watching a group of kids play a game of baseball. Something she didn't think she would ever be able to do again. Then suddenly, she heard a voice.

"You're the one that crashed into mommy, aren't you?" Roni looked up to see a little boy hobbling over to her on crutches.

"That would be me. Now go away!" Roni said with no life in her at all, as she recognized Petey from the hospital.

"I'm here watching my friends play baseball. Mommy said that I'm not allowed to play anymore, now that my leg is broken." The little boy sat down next to Roni.

"That's nice." Roni replied coldly.

"Do you play basketball?" The little blonde haired kid looked at Roni and smiled.

"I can't move my legs, how am I supposed to play basketball?" Roni shouted.

"Daddy plays basketball, and he has a wheelchair." Petey said in a know-it-all kind of voice.

"Good for your Daddy." Roni said sarcastically.

"And he plays baseball, and football..." Petey would have kept going if he weren't cut off.

"Go away! Leave me alone!" Roni said loudly. "I just want to be left alone. Why can't people understand that? Why won't anyone leave me alone?" Roni was almost in tears.

"Are you sad?" Petey asked. Roni looked at the little boy and her eyes filled up with tears. "If you're sad, I can help. I can cheer you up."

"Why do you think you can cheer me up? And what makes you think I want you to try and cheer me up?" Roni returned her gaze to the patch of green in front of her.

"Mommy says that when you see someone sad you should be their friend. I'll be your friend if you want." Petey scooted closer to Roni and put an arm around her.

Roni sat there, looking at Petey with a very confused expression on her face, as the tears already formed in her eyes began to fall.

"Don't cry." Petey wiped Roni's tears away. "I don't like it when people cry. That makes me sad. I can't be a good friend to you, and cheer you up, if I'm sad."

"I don't deserve a good friend." Roni said quietly.

"Everyone needs a friend. I'm lucky, I have a bunch of friends." Petey smiled yet again, as a male in a wheelchair approached.

"Petey, leave the young lady alone." Sounded the man.

"Daddy, this is my new friend."

"Miss, I'm really sorry if he is bothering you. Come on now, Petey. It's time to go home."

"Cheer up. It's going to be okay, you have a friend now." Petey gave Roni a hug and then got up and disappeared with his father.

TBC...

  


	13. It's My Life 13

It's My Life

by AJ

As Roni pushed herself back down the streets, to return to the White House, she had a lot to think about.

This little boy wanted to be her friend. He wanted to try to cheer her up, even after she crashed into his mom, with the end result that he can't play the sport he loves for a few weeks. But that didn't seem to matter to him. He wasn't holding the hate inside his mind as she had been. He wasn't letting that hate control him, like she was.

Roni has managed to push everyone away from her, and keep them there at a distance because of all the hate she was letting consume her. It wasn't fair to them. And it wasn't fair for her. She was now beginning to realize that she did need them. As much as she told herself that she didn't, she did. She needed a good friend or two.

Hopefully for Roni, there would still be someone willing to be her friend. She's done so much to hurt Jed, Abbey, and especially Brad. Would they ever forgive her? Could they?

Even if they could and would, how is she supposed to ask? What does she say? Does she just go up and say, 'Hey, I've been an idiot. Forgive me, wouldya?'

Well, that might work. But then, she had done so much damage. Would that be enough?

Probably not.

She needs to do something more. She needs to... she doesn't know what she needs to do, but she needs to do something.

For the first time in a long time, she has finally come to the realization that she needs help. She needs help emotionally, and physically. She just needs a way to ask for that much needed and overdue help.

So, now she knows what she should do. What she has to do. But, will she figure out a way to do it? If she does, will it do any good?

TBC...


	14. It's My Life 14

It's My Life

by AJ

Roni made it to the inside of the White House, still unnoticed. Now, could she make it the rest of the way?

"RONI!" Sam shouted at the figure disappearing behind a door. Following it, he discovered that it was indeed Roni.

"Shh!" Roni said in a low voice. "I don't want anyone to know I'm back... yet."

"Why? Where have you been?" Sam asked opening another door for her.

"I was thinking." Sam looked at her confused. "Yeah, I know. Hard to believe, but I was thinking."

"The President is going to be so relieved that you are back, and alive."

"NO! I don't want anyone to know that I'm back, yet."

"Why?"

"Cause I have some loose ends I need to take care of before they know. Speaking of which, do you think you can do me a favor?"

"What kind of favor?" Sam asked.

"I need your help with a special project." Roni smiled.

She smiled.

It felt good to smile again, Roni thought. She had been filled up with so much hatred, so much anger. But now it was all gone. All of it. The hatred. The desire to die. It was all gone. Thanks to Petey.

"What can I do for you?" He took notice of her smile, and copied it.

"Do you think you can get Mom, Dad, and Brad all together, in the living room of the residence at 6:00 p.m. today?"

"What do you have planned?" Sam's curiosity was peaked.

"I can't talk about it right now. Do you think you could do that for me?"

"Sure I can. 6:00 p.m.?"

"Yeah. Thanks a lot, Sam." Roni turned to leave him, but then turned right back around. "Sam?"

"Yeah?"

"Don't tell anyone what it's about."

"I don't even know what it's about, Roni." Sam pointed out to her.

"Oh yeah, that's right. You don't." Roni smiled and left the bewildered Sam behind her.

TBC...


	15. It's My Life 15

It's My Life

by AJ

"Mr. President, I was told that you need to be in the living room of the residence to approve some new wallpaper or something like that." Sam went fishing for some kind of believe able reason to get him to go.

"Sam, I may not know much of what's going on around here, but I know they are not doing anything to the wallpaper in the living room. And do you know why I know this?"

"Why?"

"Because the living room of the residence does not have any wallpaper. It is painted, a rather nice shade of blue, might I add." Jed took his glasses off and glanced at the young man in his office.

"Well, that's what the guy told me." Sam was trying his hardest.

"Sam, give it up. I'm not going until I believe what you are telling me. Why do I *need* to go to the residence *right* now?"

"That's a good question, sir. One that I'd be happy to answer, if I had one for you."

"You mean you are trying to send me somewhere, and you don't even know why?" Jed shot Sam a quizzical look. "Well, now you have peaked my curiosity. I think I'll go now." Jed stood up from his chair.

"Thank God!" Sam quietly proclaimed.

When Jed left his office and was on his way to figure out what the heck was going on, he felt a hand in the small of his back.

"Abbey..." Jed turned to see his wife. "Let me guess... Sam?"

"Yeah." Abbey said as she wrapped an arm around him. "Do you have any idea what it's about? Cause there is no wallpaper in the living room."

"I have no idea, which has me very curious."

"Me too." Abbey responded as Jed reached to open the door for the living room. Jed almost crashed right into Abbey, who had come to a complete stop once the door was open. Jed was about to say something to Abbey, when he looked up, and saw Roni...

TBC...


	16. It's My Life 16

It's My Life

by AJ

"Roni!" Abbey cried as she closed her eyes, and reopened them, to make sure it was not a dream. Once her eyes reopened and Roni was still there, she ran to her daughter to give her a hug. But as she got closer and closer, she thought that that might not be the best course of action. She didn't know if *her* Roni was back, and the other Roni was gone, the EVIL Roni.

"Mom!" Roni replied as she reached up and hugged her mother for the first time in over two weeks.

Jed still stood at the door, frozen. He was trying to figure out what was going on. Could it be? Could the Roni he has grown to know and love finally be back?

When Roni emerged from hugging her mother, she caught the eyes of her father. The instance their eyes locked, Jed knew. He knew that Roni was back, hopefully to stay.

Cautiously, he approached his daughter, as he called out her name, "Roni?"

Standing right up on her, he bent over and hugged her so very tightly. He was so overjoyed that she was finally back. When the hug ended, the door opened up for a second time, and Brad entered. Brad saw Roni and immediately turned around to leave. He thought he was coming to talk to the President and First Lady...

Not Roni.

"Brad! Don't leave."

Brad stopped, but didn't bother to turn around to face her. "Why?" His voice adopted the same coldness that she had been filled with.

Roni strolled over to him and took his hand into hers. He turned, slightly, so that he could see her out of the corner of his eye. "Please!"

Brad shook his hand out of Roni's, and silently went over to sit on a couch.

"Mom, Dad? Could you please sit down too? I have something I'd like to do, and I'd like it better if you were sitting." Roni said as she turned her chair around so that she was facing them. They nodded their heads and then went to sit by Brad.

"Now, I realize that Sam didn't tell any of you why you are here, probably cause he doesn't even know." Roni paused for a moment as she smiled. "But bare with me." She then pushed herself over to the grand piano in the corner and pushed the bench out of the way. After scooting herself into place, she looked up at the three people sitting on the couch, as her fingers slowly began to pound down on the piano.

TBC...


	17. It's My Life 17

It's My Life

by AJ

Notes: Bent belongs to Matchbox Twenty. Not me.

If I fall along the way Pick me up and dust me off If I get too tired to make it Be my breath so I can walk

Roni looked up at her father. She looked him straight in the eye. She knew that if she were to walk again, if she were to take that 11% and turn it into 100%, that she'd need help. Even if she never did walk again, she would need some help. Jed realized what she was telling him, and he couldn't be any happier, or prouder of her. A tear began to form in his eye.

If I need some other love then Give me more than I can stand And when my smile gets old and faded Wait around I'll smile again

Roni shifted her gaze on to her mother. Abbey's eyes were also filling up with tears. She had tried so hard to love her daughter, but Roni kept pushing her away. As Roni saw tears falling from her mother's eyes, she knew her mother got the message; Roni wasn't going to be pushing anyone away anymore.

Shouldn't be so complicated Just hold me and then Just hold me again

Can you help me I'm bent I'm so scared that I'll never Get put back together Keep breaking me in And this is how we will end With you and me bent

Roni returned her gaze to her father. That one tear that had been in his eye was now several, and coming from both. Roni was asking for help. She realized she needed it, and she was finally able to ask for it.

If I couldn't sleep could you sleep

Roni briefly returned her line of vision to her mother. Every morning, the first thing Abbey would do, is go and check on Roni. Usually the door would be locked. But some days, it wasn't. Those days, Abbey would sneak in the room and sit on the bed caressing her daughter's face in a motherly fashion.

Could you paint me better off Could you sympathize with my needs I know you think I need a lot

I started out clean but I'm jaded Just phoning it in Just breaking the skin

Roni finally turned her eyes to Brad. She realized that out of all the people that she had hurt so much, Brad was on the top of that list.

Can you help me I'm bent I'm so scared that I'll never Get put back together Keep breaking me in And this is how we will end With you and me bent

If Roni were to get past this, her paralysis, she would need lots of help. More than her parents could provide for her. As she looked deeply into Brad's eyes, she prayed that he would be there for her. But she wasn't sure that he would. He wasn't opening up to Roni the way that Jed and Abbey have been. This song, the words, they didn't seem to mean anything to him.

Start bending me It's never enough Till I feel all your pieces Start bending me Keep bending me until I'm completely broken in

Roni took notice of the lack of feelings that Brad was emitting. Suddenly, it came to her. Was it possible that she was bending him as she was being bent by the world? Did she push him once too far? Was she going to loose him?

Shouldn't be so complicated Just touch me and then Just touch me again

Roni's mind was racing too fast as those thoughts ran through her mind. She couldn't look into Brad's eyes anymore. As her eyes left Brad's, they began to drift all around the room that was so rich in emotions.

Can you help me I'm bent I'm so scared that I'll never Get put back together Keep breaking me in And this is how we will end With you and me living without understanding Hell, I'll go there again

Roni knew that she had a lot of work to do. This song wasn't going to solve all of her problems. She had to be open to the possibility that the EVIL Roni would somehow be able to make a reappearance. As Roni looked into her father's eyes, he nodded his head to her. He knew exactly what she was thinking as she was singing the song, and he wanted to let her know not to worry about EVIL Roni returning. They would deal with that when and if it happened. Hopefully it wouldn't, but if it did, they'd be prepared. They have the love that is needed to get through anything. If they can do it this time, they can do it anytime.

Can you help me I'm bent I'm so scared that I'll never Get put back together Yeah, you're breaking me in And this is how we will end With you and me bent

As Roni finished up the words of the song, she looked back up at the two tear-stained faces, and the one very distant face. She hoped that she was just imagining the distance coming from Brad, but she wasn't.

When they heard the piano stop playing, Jed and Abbey immediately raced over to her and pulled her into a group hug. As they were doing so, Jed whispered into her ear, "We love you, Kiddo. Welcome home."

Hearing her father's words, Roni finally began to cry. Looking up, she caught Brad's far off figure on the couch, and his facial expression just kept becoming more distant by the second.

Jed saw Roni's gaze as it became fixated on Brad, sitting on the couch. He turned his head, to see Brad, avoiding eye contact with Roni, at all costs. Placing a hand on Abbey's back, Abbey got the message. Slowly, Abbey and Jed retreated from the room, leaving Roni in her chair, by the piano, and Brad on the couch, staring at a wall.

TBC...


	18. It's My Life 18

It's My Life

by AJ

Notes: I Knew I Loved You belongs to Savage Garden, not me.

For a good two minutes, Roni sat there, staring at Brad, staring at the wall. She wanted desperately for him to say something, but he didn't. He kept quiet.

Roni moved herself back over to the piano, and began to play another song, this time, just for Brad.

Maybe it's intuition But some things you just don't question Like in your eyes I see my future in an instant And there it goes

Roni looked up at Brad. He was still staring at the wall. He didn't seem as far off as before, he seemed as if he was actually listening to her sing, but he had yet to look up at her.

I think I've found my best friend I know that it might sound more than a little crazy But I believe

I knew I loved you before I met you I think I dreamed you into life I knew I loved you before I met you I have been waiting all my life

As Roni continued to sing the song to him, she thought back to the time when she first told him that she loved him. It was on her birthday, after he gave her her present. He said it first, and then she said it back. Roni wondered if she'd ever hear him say it again.

There's just no rhyme or reason Only this sense of completion And in your eyes I see the missing pieces I'm searching for I think I've found my way home

Getting fed up with Brad not looking at her, Roni moved her eyes to her fingers as she concentrated on the keys she pressed and the notes she sang. While she was doing this, Brad looked up at her. From the moment he heard Roni's name, he knew the two of them were destined to have a future together. He knew. . . She knew... But they didn't know.

I know that it might sound more than a little crazy But I believe

I knew I loved you before I met you I think I dreamed you into life I know I loved you before I met you I have been waiting all my life

A thousand angels dance around you I am complete now that I've found you

Roni looked back up at Brad one last time before she finished the song. She caught his eyes as he began to look away from him.

I knew I loved you before I met you I think I dreamed you into life I knew I loved you before I met you I have been waiting all my life

When Roni stopped playing, she remained at the piano for a moment longer, looking at the keys. Then she pushed herself away from it, and over to Brad. "Brad?" She ventured out.

TBC...


	19. It's My Life 19

It's My Life

by AJ

"Brad?" Roni repeated herself.

"Don't talk." Brad commanded.

"Huh? Why?" Roni was confused.

"Cause I have something I'd like to say, and I don't want to be interrupted." Brad looked Roni in the eyes as she nodded her head. "Roni, I love you. I never stopped loving you. It hurt me so much, when you pushed me away. And even more when you tried to kill yourself. I can't say that I understand why you did it, why you did much of anything in the past week or so. But none of that matters anymore. Roni, I love you." Brad pulled out a little golden ring from his pocket. The ring had a heart on it, with a key crossing over it. "This is a promise ring. I bought it for you a while ago. . . before any of this... this craziness. I want you to know that I see a future for us... together. But, I think we are a little too young to be getting engaged, and I am not looking forward to being subjected to the torture your father would be sure to put me through, if we were to be engaged now, as young as we are." Roni chuckled, as Brad took her hands into his. "So what do you say?"

Roni was so overjoyed that she couldn't move. She was thinking that he was going to break up with her. That they would be over, and yet here he is, professing his love for her, and making a commitment to her.

"Roni?" Brad adopted a very nervous tone.

"So I take it you forgive me?"

"If you say yes, then yes."

"Yes!" Roni exclaimed. Brad leaned in and kissed her, then put the ring on her finger. Roni looked at the ring, "What's the key for?"

Placing a hand under her chin, he lifted her head. "That would be the key to my heart, and it's all yours."

"Don't mind us." Abbey said as her and Jed walked back into the living room. "Jed forgot something and I came with him to make sure he doesn't bug the two of you."

Jed just rolled his eyes at his wife, then turned to his daughter. "Roni, I have a question for you."

"And I have an answer. Let's see if they match." Roni replied.

After a short pause, Jed asked, "I thought you said that you can't sing?"

"I never said that."

"Sure you did. That first day I met you. I asked you to sing a song to me, you said, 'I can't sing.'" Jed explained himself.

"No, I never said anything about being able to sing, I said I don't sing. Which is true... normally."

"Why now?" Abbey asked as she found the object they had come in search for.

"Special occasions." Roni replied as she turned to face Brad and smiled. Brad smiled back at her.

"What are those grins for?" Abbey asked.

"Nothing." Roni replied with an innocent grin on her face.

"Yes, they are for something." Brad shot Roni a look. As he did so, her grin got wider.

"Brad gave me a promise ring." Roni held her left hand up to show the ring off to her parents.

"A promise ring?" Jed repeated.

"Yes, dad. A promise ring." Roni's smile kept getting bigger. "You know, a promise that there is a future for us... together. A promise ring."

Abbey poked Jed in the side as she saw him tensing up. He turned to her and gave her a grin, as she moved in closer to their daughter.

"Congratulations." She reached down and hugged Roni. "Jed, let's go now, give them some time alone."

"But..."

"Now, Jed!"

THE END


End file.
